iHATIN’ on the Apple Store… Because There’s An App For That

While on a recent shopping excursion with a friend (and loyal follower of the blog), I ventured into the King of Prussia Mall’s Apple Store. Upon leaving the store, completely traumatized, I quickly came to the realization that while I absolutely LOVE my MAC, I am absolutely HATIN’ on the Apple Store and the people who frequent it. I can just about sum up my experience and reasons for HATE in 3 points.

1. The Store Locations Tend to be Too Small for Customer Traffic
   Upon entering the KOP location, gazing upon the other patrons, spanning from one wall to the other, I immediately admitted to my friend that this store had an overwhelmingly pungent smell; the flagrant aroma of a sweat shop. Now that I've set the scene, please tell me, how am I supposed to shop comfortably and spend a sufficient amount of money (as we all know what Apple products cost) when I have some stranger breathing down my neck, elbow in my back or standing in front of the displays? I’ve actually heard neighboring store owners describe it as “Club Apple,” and explain that at many times throughout the day, especially during the holiday season, the store has a line out of its doors and down the length of the mall corridor. Word to the wise for Apple execs and key decision makers, do not open a store in ANY location unless the size of the space is greater than 10,000 square feet or matches what you can expect foot traffic to be. Too small stores are like too small condoms, ineffective.
   
2. Biased Sales Staff
   The sales staff is quite knowledgeable and often very helpful… if you can get associate to wait on you. In crowded situations, such as the one that I experienced most recently, there is no rhyme or reason as to how the associates wait on customers. There is no line, because Apple, and its customers, are so distinctively unique that they would never conform to lines. There is also no visible cash register, again, Apple is too tech savvy and advanced to have something so traditional. So what are customers to do, you ask?; Walk idly along asking for assistance from ANYONE. And if ignored, customers can get desperate, as my friend exhibited when after 15 minutes of trying, with no avail, to get help, stood in the middle of the store and yelled, at the top of his lungs, “CAN I Get Some Assistance From A Sales Associate PLEASE.”
   
   Aside from being inaccessible, sales associates seem to be angered if you ask them for assistance on anything other than a $2000 computer. You hear deep sighs, like their time could have been spent elsewhere. I’m sorry if my $30 earphone purchase is not important to you, but I should be the only one allowed to get upset… after all, I am the one paying $30 for a set of headphones that can easily be made for less than 5 cents.
   
3. Arrogant Customers
   Apple Inc. has done a fantastic job in terms of branding. The Apple logo/icon and use of the letter “i” on a majority of all products, has established a major brand recognition among the general public, but maybe too much so. Walking into an Apple store is like walking on to the set of an Apple commercial, except all of the people in the store are Justin Long. They’re a MAC. An arrogant, smug and sarcastically egotistical individual that doesn’t acknowledge or notice anyone resembling a PC, unless it is to poke fun at them. These are the individuals that stand at the genius bar, demanding assistance, even when the have no appointment. The individuals who jump in front of you, while you’re speaking to a coveted sales associate, to “ask a quick question,” knowing it won’t result in a quick answer. They are the kind of people who leisurely spend their Saturday or Sunday, browsing the store’s merchandise, testing out the display items and seeking sales help, with absolutely no intention to buy.
   
   iHatin,’ Apple Inc.: Here’s to marketing my middle finger.